Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
