So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
