I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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