Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
