Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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