Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
