Sry I called you an 8
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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