I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
