I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Randomize
