i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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