I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
