1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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