she looked like the before picture.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
