Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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