you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
