There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize