listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
