I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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