Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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