I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
