i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
