I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
