I like to think it a success when the cops are called
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
