She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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