Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i barfeds in our rink
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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