When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
