i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
