i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
