So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
