that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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