But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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