I'm lost and stupid without you.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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