I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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