Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
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I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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