So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
