a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
