5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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