oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Mom said you looked used
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
