.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We got so high we made milksteak
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
