Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
