doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
