Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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