I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
