I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
