Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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