You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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