I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
