margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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