The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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