what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
