you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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