You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
