I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
