They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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