Someone shit on the floor
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
