One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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