in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
