so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize