Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
