Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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