the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I wear drunk well.
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