No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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