Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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