...so i touched it.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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