I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
