i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
